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When a couple decides to divorce, it is usually a sign that one or both of them have been unhappy for some time. Divorce can involve mixed emotions, including grief, confusion, despair, happiness, and hope.
19. Sometimes, a bone needs to break to heal, and it might be hard to hear this right now, but I’m sure this is all going to work out in the end.
Arguing over whether divorce is the right choice, badmouthing the person’s ex, or minimizing the pain and significance of the divorce will only distance you from the person getting divorced and ensure that they never seek your support again.
During a divorce, words of encouragement can make a big difference and help reduce loneliness and grief by reminding someone they are still a part of a community that cares about them.
There’s no doubt about it: Life can be hard. Even when things are generally going well, some days are just rough. And when things aren’t going well? Well, that’s a whole different story. In either situation, though, it helps to know we’re not alone, and even the smallest words of encouragement in the form of a “thinking of you” message or an uplifting quote can make a huge difference in someone’s day—and life.
“If we knew everyone perfectly, we would recognize that they all struggle with something. In fact, I think it’s safe to assume that most days for most people have at least a few challenges,” says Michael Westover, a counselor and the author of A Worthwhile Life: How to Find Meaning, Build Connection, and Cultivate Purpose. “So this means everyone can benefit from some form of encouragement on a regular basis.”
That’s true whether someone’s going through a breakup, looking for a new job, dealing with sleepless nights after welcoming a baby or simply having a bummer of a day. No, we can’t fix their problems, but we can give them the strength, courage and love to help them survive a challenging time.
Something as simple as a “hello,” a hug or a “good morning” message can be very encouraging, says Westover. But it helps to have a few phrases handy to be more empathetic and precise in how we encourage people. Westover also offers the following advice when crafting encouraging messages:
“It’s all about building relationships,” Westover says. “Your reassuring words will be more effective the better you understand people and the more trust is built. Then you will know just what they need to hear.”
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