inspirational words for friend dying of cancer
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Dr. Sirotas advice to family members and friends is to give your loved one as much emotional support as they need and be aware that this doesnt always have to come in a verbal format. Use actions to make their remaining days as easy and comfortable as possible.
Come up with thoughtful gestures that would be both practical and meaningful to them, and then see these things through. Prepare and deliver dinner, offer to clean the house, run errands, or drive them to doctors appointments. If you say you are going to do something, be sure to follow through and do it. If you arent sure you will be able to deliver, its best not to make any commitments.
The greatest gift you can give is your time and attention, stresses Nancy Sherman, LICSW, an end-of-life and grief professional. If you live close enough, you have the opportunity to demonstrate your support by being there.
During visits, rent a movie and make popcorn, play games, or just sit quietly with them. If faith is important to the patient, consider praying or reading the Bible together. If you’re unable to visit in person, stay in touch through emails, phone calls, video chats, notes and cards. Sherman explains that these actions say, Im willing to walk this difficult road with you, regardless of what that entails.
So many friends disappear when one has a terminal illness, says Maxey. I guess death brings the idea of their own mortality uncomfortably close. Maxey, who now lives in Nicaragua, says her current community is a lifeline because they follow through. A funny card or email, a meal, picking up meds or coming over one day to wash our clothes, clean our kitchen or bathroom that all means the world, she says. Her advice for helping someone in her position? Don’t just tell us to call if we need help. Chances are we won’t ask, not wanting to be a burden. Help us without waiting to be asked. Believe me, it will be appreciated, both for the help and for the fact of not being forgotten.
Whether you’re a family member, friend,
coworker
or even just an acquaintance of someone grappling with a diagnosis of a terminal illness, it can seem difficult to know what to say or do for them. Here, people who address this reality every day — whether they’re psychologists, chaplains or cancer patients — share advice on what helps, and what doesn’t.
It’s an automatic and well-intended response, but don’t try to reassure a friend or loved one that everything will end up just fine. “When I was diagnosed with breast cancer and well-meaning people would say that to me, I’d just stare at them and think, There’s no possible way that we know
that
,
” says Breanna Wicker, area vice president of operations for the home health and hospice company Amedisys and herself a breast cancer survivor.
Suzanne Maxey, a former hospice nurse who is now battling an aggressive breast cancer, says don't tell someone who is ill that they’ll “beat it.” “That's ridiculous,” she says. “I've been a hospice nurse for years. The type of breast cancer I have — triple negative — comes back sooner or later. And I don't want to hear about your mother or close friend with stage one breast cancer who is now fine. That's not what I'm dealing with right now."
If you’re struggling for a way to say something meaningful, try the following, advises Liwanag Ojala, chief executive officer of CaringBridge, a nonprofit, online social networking site that helps family and friends communicate with and support loved ones during illness: I wish this wasn’t happening to you. This must be hard news for you to share. I’m here for you.
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